Not that I have a lot of other good examples of Horror comedy TV (Elvira sort of, but she wasn’t the main content. Dead Set was funny, but in a much different way, and was a mini-series anyways). But it is really really good.

A few years ago I got the first two seasons on DVD, and never watched them. Then a few months back, all of them were on the cheap at Best Buy, so I picked up season 5 through 7. However, due to things like Dexter, Walking Dead, True Blood, Boardwalk Empire, Louis, Bored to Death, Eastbound and Down, Gossip Girl, I never got around to watching them. Recently though, I’ve started up with season 5 and blew right through it. And I can’t stress enough how awesome this show is.

Good Fun

For me, most importantly, Tales from the Crypt brings back fond memories. The series was on from 1989 to 1996, just when I was really starting to get into scary movies and horror. More importantly, just when my parents were starting to become a bit brave and allow me to watch some more adult stuff.

It also reminds when horror wasn’t just about creating the goriest scene with the most ridiculous kill scenes. It was always campy and funny, and you’d never get a ton of objections when deciding what to watch with guests. Unlike today, where most of my movies inspire a “eww” or “no way” when trying to decide to what regale my friends with.

The Cryptkeeper

What a horribly cheap and annoying character. Yet, we all loved it. We all hated John Kassir’s shrill voice, yet we loved it.

Everyone went to a Spencer’s gifts in a mall at some point in their teenage years at saw the “lifesize” cryptkeeper doll and wanted it in their room, next to whatever other shit they got from Hot Topic.

Boobs

The show also contained lots and LOTS of boobs, so if you were a young boy just receiving the power of cable television, you were in Heaven.

Any male reading this knows the power of TFTC boobs.

Interesting Facts

• The show was actually nominated for several Emmy’s
• There was a Monsters of Metal compilation album themed around Tales

The older I get, the more I seem to revert back to childhood tendencies. Mostly in the way I compulsively buy worthless things that just kinda take up space.

So the story goes with trading cards. I’ve always been a big fan of trading cards, collecting sports cards when I was kid. I occasionally dabbled in non-sports cards for movies and TV shows.

I found a local store in Brooklyn called PopFuzz which caters to all of my juvenile needs. They have comics toys, great records and books and movies, and most importantly, shitloads of old trading cards still in the packages. It’s a great store, so if you’re around town, be sure to stop in.

Over the past few weekends I’ve stumbled in and bought mounds of these cards (the store is on my standard Saturday/Sunday morning hangover route to the drug store for energy drinks and snacks) and am excited to report that the cards are as great as ever. I got loads of mostly TV and movie-related ones, like Bill and Ted, Saved By the Bell, Ninja Turtles, YO! MTV Raps, American Gladiator, Rock Stars, In Living Color, among many others.

If nothing else, these cards give me a minute to reflect on the good ‘ole days, when things were simpler. And then I cry a bit, realizing I’ll never see those days again.

Here, I’ll focus on TDD-related ones, mainly the Fright Flicks, Tales From the Crypt, and Gremlins 1/2 cards.

Tales From the Crypt

These were some pretty silly cards. They featured a mix of the crypt keeper saying stupid shit (there’s a theme here), old Tales From the Crypt comic covers, etc.

Even the packaging was cute. There’s a little line “Your friends will die of envy!” if you complete the whole set. And if you don’t buy the collector album, “YOU KNOW KIDDIES … LOTS OF HORRIBLE THINGS CAN HAPPEN TO YOUR CRYPT CARDS!”. Anyways, these are still fun, and remind of staying up late during the summer as a kid watching TFTC on HBO.

Fright Flicks

You can imagine that finding these old gems got me more excited than any of the other cards. 1985/1987 vintage (the box contained packs from different years, which is kinda strange).

Firstly, they’ve got great packaging. As you can see above, you have Freddy, the Predator, what I think is Pumpkin Head, and a chick from Fright Night. All poorly drawn.

Secondly, you have excruciatingly painful quips and puns on each of the cards. Here are some choice examples:

“MAN, MY DOGS ARE KILLING ME!” says the dog thing from Ghostbusters. “TRY THE SHRIMP TEMPURA ..” yeah that’s great.

More intelligent things. I do have to say though, the stickers kicked ass. Freddy for president? I’ll put that on my lunchbox or trapper keeper any day of the week.

Aliens, Day of the Dead, Nightmare on Elm Street 1/2/3, Ghostbusters, Fright Night, the Fly, Vengeance: The Demon (which was what the first Pumpkinhead was called apparently) comprise the films that have cards in this set. All cheesy enough to be worthy of entry in this series.

These are just fun. Also, apparently other people get a kick out of these cards too.

Gremlins

Actually, I’m tired. Gremlins cards were Gremlins cards. They were fun.

Tales from the Crypt AND Vault of Horror Comics began publishing in 1950.

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