Maybe I was just drunk at the time, but I don’t even remember this story in the first place. However, as avid lovers of Behemoth, we are quite happy to see this case be dismissed.

[Via Metal Underground]

Apologies for the abrupt first Italy posting, but I was a) squeezing in the internets while the woman wasn’t paying attention, and b) was so excited about vampire lizard fast food icons that I just needed to get that one out of my system.

So as you know by now from Vincent’s reflections on Japan, we here at the Devil’s Demons are world travelers supreme. This is just how we roll.

While Vincent opted for the land of raw fish and Japornimation, I chose a country that has a history rife with murder, bloodshed, religious war, and statues. I chose Italy, quite possibly the most brutal country in history.

My trip looked like so:

Day 1 – 3 Rome
Day 4 – 6 Florence
Day 7 – Naples
Day 8 – Naples/Pompeii
Day 9 – Naples
Day 10 – Rome

On our first night, we unintentionally (I love how I always do that) stumbled into an Australian bar that had a dungeon/vampire theme to it, and found a restaurant called Lucifero. I obviously couldn’t resist.

The bar itself felt like a dungeon, dark and depressing. I was home. Here’s some of the interior:

More after the jump …

(more…)

9.) What are your musical tastes? Provide examples.

I have a wonderfully trained and advanced musical palate.

I of course absolutely love and worship heavy metal music, especially that of the Satanic and Demonic variety. Some of my favorite acts include the usual suspects like Cannibal Corpse, Carcass, Amon Amarth, Lamb of God, and All Shall Perish. However, I have dug long and hard for evil music all my life, and surprisingly, much of it falls outside the metal genre. For example:

• Fleetwood Mac: simply because I get a nosebleed by proxy simply listening to them.
• Prince: the king of womanizers. His depravity rustles a certain carnal force within me.
• The Spice Girls: these evil bitches, scamming children out of their hard earned money for years, just to support their own evil intentions. Evil capitalism at its finest.
• Techno: nothing is as evil as impersonating musical talent and pushing a bunch of buttons on computer to produce anthems. Bravo good chaps.

10.) Cite four motion pictures you consider your favorites, and why.

So I’m going to assume you want me to give you horror movies here, or movies of depraved acts of violence and terrorism to show how evil I want to be and how that sort of stuff doesn’t turn me off or disturb me, but excites me to the utter brink of orgasm. I will give you one such example, however I imagine you want to see some creativity and proof of my well-roundedness. Brace yourself Satan!

1. Evil Dead (1, 2, and I include Army of Darkness): because I just have to put that one down.
2. The Muppets take Manhattan: because I was always jealous of the Muppets’ ability to up and leave everything and take a big risk in life. I actually started filling out this application after a night of watching this one several times in a row, that’s how goddamn inspirational it is.
3. The newest Rambo: because mass killing gives me one hell of a stiffy.
4. Fried Green Tomatoes: they kill a guy and fucking serve his remains up to unknowing customers! Grade A evilness.

11.) What are your food preferences?

I eat lots of food, preferably meat-based dishes. I firmly believe vegetarians are decidedly NOT evil in any way. They should be eradicated from our earth.
Some of my favourite dishes include:

• Beer: I once went 17 days consuming nothing but beer. That’s how hard I am.
• Burritos: because they slow closely resemble bombs.
• Gummi Bears, because you can bite their heads off.
• Cottage cheese: for getting big in the gym to beat up Christians.
• Beef Jerky: see above for Christians-beating benefits, and additionally there is something about munching on a wad of dried-up animal carcass that is quite titillating.
• Beets: they come from the underground, so they’re closer to Hell, which makes them tastier than above-ground veggies.
• Anything spicy: “make it hotter than Hell” they say!

12.) Cite four books you consider favorites, and why.

1. The Bible, because I love a good laugh! And it’s useful as a doorjamb.
2. Matilda, because the teacher is evil. And I love evil.
3. The Lord of the Rings, because I long to live in Mordor.
4. Breakfast of Champions, because there are drawings of assholes in the book.

Editor’s Note: Originally posted on December 20th, 2008

Greeting folks. Inspired by my recent move into the depths of Queens, I have realized that my life is missing something. While I have faith in myself and tangible things, I have never been one to seek or need spiritual guidance, or needed to believe in something greater than myself in order to sleep at night, knowing that once my time in this physical world has ended, I will be taken care. I’m more of a “end means end” guy, and that’s that.

Or am I?

I figured maybe I could try a little religion on. I see these churchgoers and idol-worshippers going about their merry ways, seeming to walk around with an air of contentment and resolution that I sometimes envy (only when I’m near broke or have stubbed my toe, but that’s just a minor detail). What makes them tick? Maybe I need to join such an organization, giving myself another layer of support in my life.

So what church should I apply for? Come on, what the Hell do you think? (haha, Hell, that’s funny). The church of mother-fucking SATAN of course!

What I didn’t realize was that there was an in-depth application process to become a full-fledged member of the church. Sure you can pay your 25 bucks and get listed in a registry somewhere, which isn’t any more special than having your name in one of those stupid Who’s Who books that your parents got brainwashed into buying when you were in high school. So I’m going all out. I’m ponying up my 200 bucks and going for the gold.

Going for the gold in this case means filling out a 40 question application, which is filled with some incredible questions. As I work through this beast (I got other shit to do too you know), I will post my responses, with the hopes that any scrupulous reader could help guide any of my answers that might be straying off course and could potentially contribute to my not being accepted into this church of churches.

Stay tuned people. This will be an interesting process, and I will need your support.