23.) Would you rather influence or be influenced?
I’m going to assume you copied this question from some other application and forgot to remove the “or be influenced”. More accurately, I want to control people. Brainwash them if possible.
24.) Do you feel you have leadership abilities?
I am leadership personified. I once led a pack of goats through a pasture to be cleaned. I led lines of traffic into parking lots to successfully and efficiently park themselves. I led a group of people on a first place scavenger hunt. I can lead in all facets of life.
25.) Do you consider yourself a good judge of character?
Yeah. If I like you, you’re cool and OK. Sane even. If I don’t like you, you fucking suck and are a horrible person, a liar, a cheat, a scoundrel. Easy.
I do have to admit that sometimes I think people are out to get me when they actually turn out to be my friends. I usually only discover this however towards the end of a torture session, when it’s too late to save them. I still don’t feel any remorse for the killings.
26.) In what organizations do you hold membership?
I have and do hold membership in several high class groups/societies/clubs that I am very proud of. These include:
- The Boy Scouts – as far I know I never officially quit.
- The New York Horror Movie Meetup – potential breeding ground for other Satanists. I’m on the inside.
- Equinox Fitness Club – keeps me prepared for the apocalypse.
- Daughters of the American Revolution – A friend of a friend of a friend got me in to this one. No easy task.
- LEGO Brickmaster Club – Prepares me for eventually building real castles, bomb shelters, battleships, fighter planes, space cruisers. I also get LEGOs in the mail, and then get to pull LEGO people’s heads off.
- Amnesty International – Need to cancel this one for obvious reasons.
- The United States Democratic Party – Because I had to choose.
- New York Public Library – My inside track to eventually get a hold of the Satanic Bible.
Editor’s Note: Originally published on December 26th, 2008