OK. So if you live in Chicago, and are an avid horror fan, don’t have anything to do during the nights of June 1st/2nd/3rd, and most importantly, are either a teenager or an attractive 18-27 year-old woman, then you should try and get a role as an extra in the newest rendition of Nightmare on Elm Street.

Sadly, I don’t fit into either criteria, so I couldn’t tryout if I wanted to. Regardless, there are a few interesting bits in the casting call I feel I need to point out. In fact, I think that some of the details within are pretty moronic:

• “We are searching for attractive women, 18 to 27, who are comfortable working topless in a tasteful pool party scene.”

OK. Now I get it. You are in no way trying to attract anyone who is a horror fan. Because as any horror fan knows, there is absolutely no such thing as a “tasteful” pool party scene. In history. At any point in time. Ever. That is the most egregious  oxymoron I have ever stumbled across in my life.

• “We are shooting nights – nights can start as early as in the afternoon and shoot all through the night until sunup of the next morning.”

Wow, really? Nights start in the afternoon? Why don’t you just say we are shooting for most of the day? I dunno. Stupid to say nights and then just correct yourself.

• “We also need to cast REAL COUPLES. If you want to be considered as one of our real couples please e-mail us a photo of yourself with your boyfriend or girlfriend.”

Right. That proves a lot. I have more pictures of me doing couply things with people I wasn’t actually dating. This makes no sense at all. I’m fairly certain that the audience of a Nightmare on Elm Street film could care less about how “real” the couples look at the pool party.

• “We want to cast teens and their real friends. Please let us know in your e-mail who your friends are that are also sending in pictures!”

Again, what the hell does this matter? And do you really want a mob of friends trying out for this shit? Whatever.

[Via Bloody-Disgusting]