There are some movies that suck. There are some movies that are good and you’ll always watch if they happen to come on TV (Terminator 2). There are some movies you say are amazing, but won’t even spend the time/energy to watch again (Memento).

Then, you have those movies that make you lose your shit immediately after watching, calling/texting/sexting/tweeting at all your friends, telling them “YOU MUST SEE THIS NOW.” This is EXACTLY how I felt after watching Piranha 3D.

DISCLAIMER: I didn’t actually see it in 3D. DISCLAIMER: It doesn’t matter at all. Much like watching Jason 3D, you figure out which parts were meant for 3D, and it kinda makes it funnier.

This post should be titled “we” saw Piranha 3D actually. Vincent saw it too, equally loving the cornucopia of gore and cleavage.

I seriously died (funny!) laughing so often throughout this movie. It starts off normal enough, and then shit just hits the fan. I really don’t want to get into details, but let’s just say it’s nonstop once it starts.

Jerry O’Connell is absolutely hysterical. I’ve liked him in the past, but he really pulls one on this time. This movie is omniscient, since you could substitute Charlie Sheen for his character  and not tell the difference. Ving Rhames is Ving Rhames, just a ridiculous badass. Everyone plays their part spot-on.

And the ending … oh the ending.

A meta point from all of this is that making this movie looked REALLY fun. I mean, literally PARTY PARTY PARTY BLOOD PARTY PARTY BLOOD BLOOD DONE. I love that recipe.

Happy Friday. Go see Piranha 3D this weekend to see people who look like this.

Felinophobia is:

A morbid fear of cats.

Maybe I’m trying to feel better about myself and my bravery, because I keep seeming to pick things that I am not scared of at all.

I did a little research online about this grave disease. Please read this next excerpt, taken from catchannel.com:

On the second day of Blue’s presence, we were quietly working at our desks when we heard a horrific scream from the office down the hall. I leaped from my chair and ran to see what was wrong. I found Blue innocently standing in the doorway looking at the office’s occupant, Jane (not her real name), who was pale and recoiled in her chair, staring in horror at Blue.

I picked Blue up and took him back to my office and closed the door. It was obvious that he needed to stay away from Jane, whose behavior had me completely baffled.

The next day, the bad news came. Blue had to go back to the shelter. Jane had told our boss that she could not work with a cat in the office, and she would quit if the cat didn’t go.

Those of us who had become attached to Blue in this short time were furious at Jane. Her seemingly irrational fear of cats could cost Blue his freedom. Who knew what would happen to Blue when he went back to the shelter? Most of us stopped talking to Jane; she became the office pariah.

Had we understood the crippling condition of felinophobia – a profound fear of cats – perhaps we could have shown Jane more compassion. Jane was as much a victim of this condition as Blue.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

In all seriousness, I do not support making fun of those with fears/issues/diseases. But couldn’t this be a bit more specific? Scared of lions or tigers perhaps? Even scared of Thundercats. Something other that cute little kitties.

Whatever.

If you do suffer from this *COUGH* disease, here are some of my favorite horror movies which feature other types of animals that you might enjoy:

Piranha

Arachnophobia

Black Sheep