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I’m visiting my brother in Raleigh, North Carolina, and this door exists in his garage. I don’t want to know what’s behind that door, but whatever it is, I hope it eats childrens’ SOULS.
While I was in NC a couple of weeks ago, I did my usual and roamed the aisles of K-Mart and Wal Mart looking for random Halloween items that I would never find in NYC. Well, here was one of them: Little Debbie Pumpkin Delights.
They looked “evil” enough based on the packaging shown above, and the fact that the pumpkin cookies appeared even the least bit sinister piqued my interest considering how much of a family-friendly brand Little Debbie is. So I picked up a box. I like anything pumpkin-flavored anyways, so there was nothing to lose.
HOLY … CERAMIC … SHIT. Do you see the piece of art in front of your eyes? Do you notice the way the light reflects off of his gold tooth? Sparkling in your face? An even mix between simple bravado and wholehearted confidence in his abilities to plunder and pillage? This is a treasure that belongs in a museum, or at the Tower of London next to the rest of the crown jewels.
OK that’s going a bit far, but come on? You would have bought this thing too. As is the impetus for most of my impulsive purchases, any normal household good that has any semblance of Halloween imagery instantly grabs my eye.