In honor of Independence Day (the holiday, not the shitty movie), I’ll try and post a couple of red white and blue things over the next few days.

I’ll start with a quick trip down memory lane, with the movie Uncle Sam.

Remember this steaming pile?

When I worked at a now defunct media store called On Cue back in high school, I made lots of impulse purchases of DVDs on release days that I eventually regretted. This purchase was one of them.

It came out when all horror DVDs that were straight to video had those semi-holographic covers (not sure what the right term is, but you know … normal face when looking straight on, skull when you tilt it), like Jack Frost. Doesn’t matter. The movie sucks, but still. Go America.

Tailer after the jump.

(more…)

While not directly related to horror or metal, I simply cannot ignore the fact that I am somewhat in the holiday spirit. And what does one do when in the holiday spirit? You watch holiday movies of course.

There are several classic Christmas movies, like Santa Claws, Jack Frost 2, and of course, Here Cumz Santa. However, one of my favorites lies outside our standard realm. Bad Santa is such an incredible film, if for nothing else than its sheer vulgarity and offensiveness. If you are looking for something to kill the time while falling asleep on your relatives’ couch this season, pick this one up.

Billy Bob Thorton plays an alcoholic mall Santa who travels around to the country during the season, robbing the malls once the time is right. Actually, alcoholic is an understatement. Or a misnomer. He just gets really shitfaced all the time. He also screws women in dressing rooms.

This movie is the sole reason I started purchasing and consuming Old Grandad whiskey. He is assisted by a foul-mouthed midget elf. Sounds like a perfect combination yes?

Bad Santa is just a total asshole with no heart or patience for humans. I adore him greatly. Of course he displays some warmth in the end, but is no doubt a huge asshole who does evil shit. If I have to look at santas this season, I’ll stick with this one.