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Sigh. Sometimes ,Vincent and I just don’t have our shit together. Which is why I am just now posting the first “real” article about the Fangoria Weekend of horrors.
On June 6th, Vincent and I attended the convention in NYC.
45 for Colt 45, one of our favorite malt liquors here at the Devil’s Demons. Also a favorite of Billie Dee Williams, maybe be best known for his role as Pastor Charlie in the horror CLASSIC, Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror:
If there’s one alcoholic beverage that’s synonymous with heavy metal, evil, tattoos, etc., it has to be the lovely anise-tinted Jagermeister.
Now Vincent and I both enjoy the occasional tasty beverage, and probably enjoy too many, but this is absolutely insane. What’s worse than a single bottle of Jager? 6.
What’s worse than 6 bottles of Jager? 6 bottles on Jager in a cooler, which implies it needs to be drank in its entirety at whatever event this thing is present.
I couldn’t find a link for buying this thing, and that’s probably a good thing. That’s a death trap if I have ever seen one before.
So since I’ve done nothing but drink the past month in London, I figure I’ll start writing about all of the places I have been drinking.
Ok, so on top of Let The Right One In, Grace (looks amazing), and a thousand other horror movies I missed last year or need to see soon, I definitely need to see Red Mist. It looks REALLY stupid, has an original plot, and stars the distractingly good looking older sister from The Uninvited. I’m in!
The Intrepid Fox is a heavy metal bar in London’s Soho district. I was skeptical at first, just because the term “heavy metal bar” could mean several things. Could be a plain old bar that plays heavy metal music. Could be a bar that just has a heavy metal theme night. Could a bar with heavy metal karaoke. Could be a bar with large cast iron object throughout the room.
This was a veritable heavy metal bar according to my guide, and he was quite right.
This is a 2 story monster (3 if you count the dungeon to the bathroom) of a bar, filled with everything a metal-head or punk kid would have a wet dream over. The whole of the place is pretty much lit red and black, and is filled with the requisite accouterments, like skulls, more skulls, devils, and even half of a hell-car hanging from the ceiling above the bar, adds a bit of a motor city feel to the place:
Can kinda see it over there. Along with the skull jester on the pole. Stuff like that all throughout.
One of the coolest features of the bar is the load of old concert and bands posters lining the walls, especially in the dark corridor leading to the disgusting bathrooms (trying to copy the filthiness of NYC bathrooms). Lots of good ole White Zombie ones etc.
Also, the bar was a literal wet dream for most metal kids, filled with attractive metal chicks, covered in tattoos and various levels of piercings. The bartenders were of course either intentionally rude, or over the top happy to serve you. Standard metal bar fare.
The top level apparently hosts live music, so I’ll be checking back and reporting additional findings.
Luckily for me, it was glam night as well. So lots of dudes in zebra striped leggings etc.
36.) Do you drink alcoholic beverages? If so, to what extent? State preferences.
I’m drinking an alcoholic beverage as we speak (type), if that says anything. The extent is that if there is a good reason to drink, I will do so. I never turn down a good drink. Unless there is no alcohol in it. What is the point of THAT? I usually don’t decide to stop drinking, it’s usually regulated by things like having to go to work, the bar closing, stores running out of alcohol, prohibition, etc.
I drink a shitload. I know of no other word to describe my drinking. I love drinking with a passion. Both love drinking WITH a passion and love drinking … with a passion. Do you understand?
I prefer North Carolina, New York, Ohio, and California. Not necessarily in that order. South Carolina can be OK at times as well. And Texas. Sometimes.
37.) Do you have any tangible services or resources which you would care to contribute?
I have tons of coal that I would be willing to contribute to the cause. I also have lots of baseball cards that would probably bring all kinds of wealth to the group.
Services-wise, I need to think about. Again, I am concerned about disclosing something that could be harmful to my club reputation. I know for a fact that my skills as a carpenter would come in quite handy for building upside-down crosses.
38.) Are you free to travel? To what extent?
Ooh I like this question. Does this mean I could be going on some super secret missions for the church of Satan, roaming the globe recruiting new members?
Pay for me and I’ll go wherever you want me to. As long as it’s not New Jersey.
39.) Define Satan.
My father, who art not in heaven.
Wikipedia has a good entry for him as well.
40.) Provide your signature attesting to the above, and enclose photograph.
While not directly related to horror or metal, I simply cannot ignore the fact that I am somewhat in the holiday spirit. And what does one do when in the holiday spirit? You watch holiday movies of course.
There are several classic Christmas movies, like Santa Claws, Jack Frost 2, and of course, Here Cumz Santa. However, one of my favorites lies outside our standard realm. Bad Santa is such an incredible film, if for nothing else than its sheer vulgarity and offensiveness. If you are looking for something to kill the time while falling asleep on your relatives’ couch this season, pick this one up.
Billy Bob Thorton plays an alcoholic mall Santa who travels around to the country during the season, robbing the malls once the time is right. Actually, alcoholic is an understatement. Or a misnomer. He just gets really shitfaced all the time. He also screws women in dressing rooms.
This movie is the sole reason I started purchasing and consuming Old Grandad whiskey. He is assisted by a foul-mouthed midget elf. Sounds like a perfect combination yes?
Bad Santa is just a total asshole with no heart or patience for humans. I adore him greatly. Of course he displays some warmth in the end, but is no doubt a huge asshole who does evil shit. If I have to look at santas this season, I’ll stick with this one.
Is there anything better than drinking in excess? I can only think of one: Halloween. I think you see where this is going.
Mash up:
I saw this flier yesterday during my 624th quad-monthly “Sunday funday,” and thought “Perfect, now I don’t have to write anything clever on the site tomorrow.” So see? Sometimes things work out.
If you’re in New York for the next 2 weeks, this is a pretty kick-ass list of some fun boozy events. I’ll try to make it to some. Might fail. Might not. Chose your own adventure.
The Absinthe 101 Class? I’ll be camping outside for that one.
Just a friendly reminder to block out Sunday October 26th on all of your calendars. Not only is this the 5-times Halloween Eve, but it’s World Zombie Day!