I’ll just get it out of the way that I’m a fan of True Blood. That’s probably not a very big surprise, but it’s also not saying very much since it’s the only vampire show that’s out right now. It’s rare that any movie or television show with a vampire theme comes around and does anything but stink up the room with Cinemex-style sex and Silk Stockings-style acting. I really cannot think of any tv show, ever, that has involved vampires that I’ve remotely enjoyed.  YES, I remember Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and are you serious? That show was terrible and so was Angel, and if you disagree then I suggest you and your friends form a “Fans of the WB” club and wax romantic on Joss Whedon and at your local Borders Books. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I very well know that you’re already doing so and you think I’m a rube.

Now that the haterade has been distributed to Buffy I will gladly admit that True Blood is not without it’s eye-rolling, embarrassing moments. The show suffers from some serious symptoms of WB-ness (I’m copyrighting that) that can make toleration a painful endeavor. Despite these symptoms I do think it’s a good show, and since the 2nd season begins in less than two weeks now is still a great time to hop on board and start talking about it. Don’t wait until it’s too late like I did with The Sopranos.

To kill time and to prepare you for season two, read along with me as I explain some (3) of the more awkward, ridiculous issues I have with my 3rd-favorite show:

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