Felinophobia is:

A morbid fear of cats.

Maybe I’m trying to feel better about myself and my bravery, because I keep seeming to pick things that I am not scared of at all.

I did a little research online about this grave disease. Please read this next excerpt, taken from catchannel.com:

On the second day of Blue’s presence, we were quietly working at our desks when we heard a horrific scream from the office down the hall. I leaped from my chair and ran to see what was wrong. I found Blue innocently standing in the doorway looking at the office’s occupant, Jane (not her real name), who was pale and recoiled in her chair, staring in horror at Blue.

I picked Blue up and took him back to my office and closed the door. It was obvious that he needed to stay away from Jane, whose behavior had me completely baffled.

The next day, the bad news came. Blue had to go back to the shelter. Jane had told our boss that she could not work with a cat in the office, and she would quit if the cat didn’t go.

Those of us who had become attached to Blue in this short time were furious at Jane. Her seemingly irrational fear of cats could cost Blue his freedom. Who knew what would happen to Blue when he went back to the shelter? Most of us stopped talking to Jane; she became the office pariah.

Had we understood the crippling condition of felinophobia – a profound fear of cats – perhaps we could have shown Jane more compassion. Jane was as much a victim of this condition as Blue.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

In all seriousness, I do not support making fun of those with fears/issues/diseases. But couldn’t this be a bit more specific? Scared of lions or tigers perhaps? Even scared of Thundercats. Something other that cute little kitties.

Whatever.

If you do suffer from this *COUGH* disease, here are some of my favorite horror movies which feature other types of animals that you might enjoy:

Piranha

Arachnophobia

Black Sheep

Eurotophobia is defined as:

Fear of female genitalia

Yet another fear I do not suffer in the slightest from! This could be my most anti-fear of all. But I digress.

If you suffer from Eurotophobia, then you probably will be frightened by many horror movies, as they feature some very hot women. Maxim even has a list of the 10 hottest women in horror, and UGO has the Top 50 Hotties of Horror.

Elvira

If you don’t remember spending numerous weekend nights watching USA and dreaming of a world where Elvira knew who you were and loved you, then you’re either a) a non-lesbian female or b) retarded.

Vampirella

Probably the bustiest comic book heroine this side of Lady Death. I can’t tell you how many comic book conventions I’ve been to in my life (seven) where there was a “model” dressed up as Vampirella, having throngs of geeks gravitate towards her (me and my friends) as she stalked the convention room (motel) grounds.

Pam Voorhees

The ultimate in horror movie hotness.

Check out horrorhotties, http://www.thebesthorrormovies.com/hottie_archives.html (which is nothing other than a collection of every famous hot actress in horror films the last 10 years), TerrorHotties, and Scream Queen if you need to do some more research for yourself.

OK. This is just fucking stupid. Dipsophobia is:

An abnormal and persistent fear of drinking alcohol.

This is by far the most ridiculous and stupid fear I have ever heard. If you suffer from Dipsophobia, or as I like to call “You are a huge fucking pussy”, then you most likely need to die. Or just disappear from the earth.

Now, if you choose to abstain from alcohol for a good reason, that’s fine. But to just be scared of it? Without a reason? Well you’re just a fucking moron.

People Who Do Not Suffer From Dipsophobia, or “Iamapieceofshitophobia”

Amy Winehouse

Poster child for anti-Dipsophobia groups.

Charles Barkley

If there’s one person who I would love to hang out with and discuss how much we hate people with Dipsophobia, it would probably be Charles Barkely. I have heard tales of his drinking prowess. I would love to experience them in person.

Keith Moon

Duh.

If you are interested in more info on people who hate dipsophobics, check out Top Drunks Cards. Also, for a discussion on horror movie drinking games, check out this forum page on Bloody Disgusting.