I’m a sucker for anything orange, pumpkin flavored, or Halloween-themed period. This fact has been established some time ago. So to whatever marketing geniuses come up with this shit, I tip my hat to you. I keep buying it.

In the grocery store the other day, my Halloween-dar was honed in on a lovely orange display of Halloween cards. However, these were not simply “Happy Halloween” cards, they were specialized! There were Halloween “Get Well” cards, Halloween “Thinking of You” and yes, a load of romantic Halloween cards, to which yours truly was very attracted.

I love yin and yang, black and white, opposites attract. So what better to pair with the most evil, dark, black holiday than some good old fashioned loving.

I bought 5 cards. Watch out, one of these might just make it to your mailbox. You can also use this post as a guide for your own card purchases this season.

This first one got me with the combination of creepy eyes plus of course, glitter. Why do I like glitter? I don’t want to think about it.

The message inside this one is nice and simple:

AWWWWWWWW. This card is for those lovers who have problems saying goodbye in the morning, or say “I will miss you”, “no I will miss you MORE,” “NO I WILL MISS YOU MORE” etc. etc.

That one just killed me. What a great pose from the skeleton. Sexy with the rose. I wonder how skeletons fornicate? It’s got be complicated. Or the complete opposite. I dare you to search “skeleton sex” on Google. I bet some interesting stuff will pop up there.

The craftsmanship of this card was quite intriguing. I like the little bottle in the back. These are the sort of artifacts I envision when I read novels involving old witches with cabins in the woods and such. I personally wouldn’t mind having a few of them around either.

Another cheesy line. I have no right to judge these though. I mean, I did buy them.

Very brash. Almost piratey. I am not big on pirates, but again I fell for the glitter. A good simple message on the inside:

This card would work well for the nephew, little brother, or brother in law who skates, wears a lot of black, or hangs out at Hot Topic a lot (which is a redundant qualification since wearing black a lot is a prerequisite for hanging out at Hot Topic).

Finally, the cutest of them all. I know, we’re going to seen an insane amount of vampire shit all over the place this year since it’s the in thing (I almost miss pirates), but still. This is a Sesame Street card. In fact it reminds me very much of the Count, my favorite Sesame Street character:

And inside, the ultimate in cheese:

I can’t wait to stamp these things and send them out. So much better to get one of these in the mail than a Christmas card with a lame family photo inside.

Tags: cheese, Halloween cards

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 17th, 2009 at 1:52 pm and is filed under Buy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.