Talk about zombies … this thing scares me in more ways than one.

[Via Bloody-Disgusting]

Someone from Craftster decided to crochet an entire set of Left 4 Dead zombies for her husband and posted some pics. I’m not so sure I’d ever want a mate who would appreciate this sort of gift, but the effort has to be recognized regardless.

Also see http://www.thedevilsdemons.com/2008/11/18/left-4-dead-comes-out-today/.

32.) How long did it take you to join the Church of Satan?

Well, the application has taken fucking FOREVER, you should probably work on trimming this bad boy down.

It doesn’t matter how long it took, I’m really taking it now. You should be proud of me, not making me feel bad for delaying.

33.) Are you a smoker? If so, to what extent.

To an extent. I smoke if I want, but am not addicted. Addiction is bad, unless of course you are addicted to Satan or killing babies.

34.) Have you accomplished anything important or significant? If so, what?

I’m still alive, which is a big accomplishment considering the amount of damage I’ve done to my body and brain over the years in the name of being as evil as possible.

Filling out this application will be very significant when I complete it. Lord (Satan) knows it has taken me long enough.

I graduated from high school. Lots of people don’t do that where I come from.

I once filled a bathtub with nothing but ice cubes and 40 ounce bottles of malt liquor. I think that’s a pretty big accomplishment as well.

I also won the DARE bear in elementary school. Neat huh?

35.) Which parent do you admire most and why?

They are both probably going to be reading this, so I shouldn’t answer. BUT, if they weren’t reading this, I would say my Dad, because Satan is a male, and that obviously means the male sex is greater than the female, so Dad wins.

I haven’t listened to Cannibal Corpse for enjoyment since I was 19, but the fact that they keep turning the same crank year after year makes me respect their dedication. And the cover art is always worth looking at for at least 30 seconds. So here’s their new song, it’s just like the ones you’ve heard before but a little different.

http://www.metalblade.com/cannibalcorpse/preorder.html

27.) Have you possessed or used illegal drugs or been convicted of a crime? If so, explain in full.

Another trick question I feel. If I HAVE done either of the above, then that proves my evilness. If I have not, well, that means I’m a goody two-shoes. On the other hand, doing these things might reflect on my character and my thought process, risk vs. reward stuff. I don’t know if you’re psychoanalyzing me or just want to see if I have a long enough list of evil acts.
I got a littering ticket once. Wasn’t my fault though. I also tried to burn down the local community center with a friend one time with a homemade bomb, but we failed. We ran from the 85 year old fireman.

28.) Describe a significant experience in your life bordering on what you would consider the paranormal or demonic, if any.

As you would hope for, my life has been packed full of such experiences, none bordering either, but being the real thing certainly.
One time, I ate a shitload of mushrooms, and kept seeing a black cat cross my path. That shit was a ghost I swear.

29.) What forms of entertainment do you prefer?

Blood rituals, sacrifices, massacres, bloodletting, and strangulation. Not on me of course. I’m not crazy!

30.) Tell one of your favorite jokes.

Christianity.

31.) Have you served in the armed forces? If so, provide pertinent data.

I have arms. I am a force to be reckoned with. That is all.

The man is apparently having an opening this Thursday at the FIFTY24SF Gallery in San Francisco…

You’ve Got Mail From Half-Digested Children [via io9]

I absolutely love Mike Bohatch‘s art. So much so that I have three of his prints framed and hung above my bed, which someone reminded me this past week are pretty freaky. Me loves.

I personally own prints (signed) of “Thing in the Corner”, “Vamp”, and “Cackle”.

That is all.

[via Slightly Warped]

Here it is!  My Major Award! Let’s take a look at the wonders contained inside…

(more…)

It’s been about 2 weeks with no posts from yours truly, but I’m still (barely) alive.  I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and a drunken New Year’s, because I certainly did. I also managed to severely injure myself three days ago; an injury that sidelined my plans of posting in the days following January 1st. Yes, like an old man I fucked up my back big time and have been horizontal since January 2nd. You wouldn’t believe how much not being able to bend forward or use your left leg inhibits EVERYTHING, but it does. Even using a computer or maintaining conscious thought for 3 minutes becomes a struggle. Thus, there were no posts.

I did, however, receive my major award. More on that later.

Happy New Year.