You know what isn’t evil? Hot Topic
November 19th, 2008 by Price
Holy shit, I had forgotten about this place for quite some time. This is a good thing. It’s probably due to the fact that I don’t live within walking distance of a mall, or have the patience to take the train to wherever they keep malls around here.
Why am I writing suddenly about Hot Topic? Do I have a sudden fetish for pasty skinny girls who would set off a metal detector a mile away? No, it was just referenced on South Park, that’s why. Instant blogging, hot off of the presses. So I write.
Now I’m not going to deny it. I’ve been in Hot Topic before, and even purchased a few things. Back in the day, they had some half decent belts, maybe a bracelet, shit, even a semi-ironic t-shirt, back when those things were actually still ironic. That being said, I quickly grew weary of the throngs of kids in black clothes filling the aisles, squeaking over the latest Jack book bag (10 years after Nightmare before Christmas came out), giggling at the “Mean People SUCK” patches, and whatever else jibberwash the store had. Seriously, what the fuck else do these kids do but hang out in this store, talk about how awesome everything is, beg their parents for money, and end up buying a sticker or piece of cheap shitty plastic jewelry?
It got worse. These kids stopped annoying me. I started hating them. Vehemently. Black was my favorite color. I loved everything metal. These kids claimed to as well. And it was ruining my reputation. Suddenly, being metal became synonymous with shopping at Hot Topic. I even had girls ask me on dates if I shopped there, simply because I had once in a lifetime ago listened to Korn. Use your imagination as to how those dates ended.
I forever began to associate trips to the mall with having to undergo the eardrum bleeding, eye-gouging experience that was walking past the Hot Topic store. So I quit going to the mall.
I came to loathe these kids, and decided long ago that I never wish to associate with anyone who shops in Hot Topic ever again. They represent everything I am against. I would rather shake hands with a leper than congregate with Hot Topic goth kids. At least, that’s how I felt …
Now, I’m not as adamant about the avoidance. Maybe it’s because I am secretly jealous of their drive to give up a place in normal society and just follow their hearts straight to the makeup department and humongous leather boot sections of stores. Are they actually the creme of society? Maybe they hold the secret to our world’s future? I mean, maybe Emily the Strange paraphernalia will make its way onto the runways of Milan or into the oval office. Who knows?
Nevermind. I hate Hot Topic. And people who shop there.
Tags: goth kids, hot topic, shopping malls