4 Days Until Halloween, Time to Carve a Pumpkin
October 27th, 2008 by Vincent
I don’t carve no early pumpkins. I like to wait until the last week before Halloween to really get things into full-swing. It serves two purposes: one being that I don’t ruin the holiday and overdose on it weeks before the big day, and two being I don’t have to tolerate a rotting squash in my crib. Tonight was the night.
Well, tonight was the first night of up to a possible 3 nights since I try to carve at least two pumpkins. The first must be a traditional one with two isosceles eyeballs, a likewise nose and a mouth with either block teeth or jagged “teefus.” Subsequent pumpkins can get crazy in any method they choose. For tonight’s special we’re serving jagged teefus and the addition of a set of angry eyebrows. It’s not strictly traditional but it’s close enough. Let’s get started, shall we?
Can’t carve a pumpkin without a movie playing in the background. Texas Chainsaw Massacre will suffice. I know it’s “Chain Saw,” but that shit looks stupid. This is our living room as it looks tonight. I see 3 skulls in one shot. We need more variety in our decorations.
I’m framing the TV with pumpkin guts to set the mood.
Here’s where I stab myself in the leg. I’m pretty happy with the eyes and nose, but the mouth is looking pretty rough. I consider myself an expert at carving unnerving classic pumpkins but this is certainly not my best effort. C- on the mouth for looking like Charlie Brown’s t-shirt.
Here’s where Sally is being chased by Leatherface and she runs into the gas station only to discover they’re serving human sausages. SAUSAGES. This is not part of my pumpkin.
Aaaand we’re done. My arms are covered in goo and I have an evil squash to protect me from bad spirits. Dig it:
Hopefully I’ll get another one in tomorrow night or Wednesday. This one is named “Chuck.” Don’t try to kick the football, Chuck.
Tags: halloween, pumpkins, texas chainsaw massacre