The Devil’s Demons Goes to London: Part 2
October 18th, 2008 by Vincent
I’m not sure if everyone is aware that what we Americans call Halloween doesn’t really happen anywhere else in the world. Of course the Holiday has deep historical roots, and it is by no means an American invention, but the modern versions of Samhain the rest of the world celebrates is not the full on Bacchanalian orgy of merchandising, devil worship, and liver destruction that Price and I value so much as an integral part of US culture. That’s why I always feel a little guilty when I see “Happy Halloween!” signs or other such bullshit when I’m abroad. It’s like we shoved it down their throats and I know they hate us for it. Just one more reason.
I actually don’t care (big reveal), and I was of course happy to see some orange, purple, and green bags full of various and sundry garbage during my week in London. It made me feel snuggly. Look! Bags of “scary gums.”
…and a blurry bag (the bag was blurry, the photo is crisp) of some choccy-biccies, just like Nanny used to make.
and shit, I really liked these things. In fact, I like almost anything Cadbury throws at me. I’d eat rabbit pellets if I thought they might have originated from the Cadbury bunny. These looked like poo-covered caterpillars, but they tasted much better. Thankfully.
But besides these few treats, I didn’t see The Big Day mentioned too much around town, so I couldn’t shake the feeling that a shit they do not give. That feeling was at once rejected and confirmed by the following:
Halloween – 31 Oct – Be Afraid. Holiday decoration or a PSA? The world may never know. Let’s go with both. I like to imagine the person responsible was disgruntled by having to take part in the first place.
Finally, by far the greatest part of a Halloween merchandise hunt is seeing the results of a frantic scramble by snack companies to brand everything for the season. I’ve seen some fibs in my time, but no bit of repackaging has ever been as egregious as this little bag of lies:
Witches’ toes. They look like Cheese Doodles, but fuck my hairy nostril, they’re witches’ toes.
Tags: candy, cheese puffs, halloween, london