Little Debbie’s Pumpkin Delights
October 14th, 2008 by Price
While I was in NC a couple of weeks ago, I did my usual and roamed the aisles of K-Mart and Wal Mart looking for random Halloween items that I would never find in NYC. Well, here was one of them: Little Debbie Pumpkin Delights.
They looked “evil” enough based on the packaging shown above, and the fact that the pumpkin cookies appeared even the least bit sinister piqued my interest considering how much of a family-friendly brand Little Debbie is. So I picked up a box. I like anything pumpkin-flavored anyways, so there was nothing to lose.
To make a long story short, upon opening the box and removing on the individually wrapped cookies, I quickly realized that someone needed to contact Little Debbie (wherever she may be) and demand to have these cookies taken off of the racks:
I apologize for the blurriness of the photo, but how goddamn creepy is that thing? Not only does it have that token child molester smirk, IT’S DROOLING PUMPKIN GUNK. That is so disturbing. OUR CHILDREN. What would happen when this demon-in-a-high-fructose-corn-syrup-infused-pastry got into the bellies of our future? But they tasted good.
Still, look at it again. It’s definitely staring at you. Mockingly. I imagine it’s thinking “I know how your innards taste,” or “Oh your mother is now missing, and I am the one who put her away”. I dunno. Use your imagination.
Actually, maybe they SHOULD leave these on shelves. I do not really care for children too much anyways. Halloween is way much more fun when you’re an adult and can drink, so Little Debbie, thank you for keeping some kids off of the streets and in bed with nightmares on Halloween night, you made my evening less crowded.
Tags: cookie, halloween, junk food, little debbie, north carolina, october, pumpkin, pumpkin delights