Welcome to October
October 1st, 2008 by Vincent
Muahaha. It’s finally here again. The greatest month of the year. The single greatest 31 days of the 365. The month around which all others revolve and die. When all the sacrifices you’ve made will finally pay off.
That was ridiculous. The only effort required to make it to October is avoiding death. But hey, not everyone succeeded! If you did, then give yourself a pat on the back.
So now that you’ve got October within your grasp, don’t fuck it up. Make this one good. Do something more interesting than watching The Nightmare Before Christmas. Hot Topic doesn’t own the damn holiday, you know. Make me sick, Hot Topic.
I digress.
What follows are some of the best ways to get the most out of our holy month. It’s my official list of ways to make the Halloween season feel like the Halloween season. So read on for the ways I’ll get good with the most fun time of the year:
Read a book
Crazy, I know. Give it a shot. Four years ago I came up with the idea that every October I’d read a “classic” of macabre literature, as I was shocked to discover that I hadn’t done so back when they were assigned during high school. Ok, I wasn’t really shocked, but sometimes my own laziness does surprise. So if you’ve you’ve never actually read Dracula, Frankenstein, or H.P. Lovecraft, do yourself a favor and pick them up. It will give you a dose of the season each day. Or just read them to be smug about it, as I assure you almost no one you know has actually labored through Dracula.
If you’ve already knocked those out, then pick up some modern classics like Song of Kali or Salem’s Lot. Reading is not a startlingly revolutionary idea, but it’s unfortunately one that’s often overlooked. Stop being so stupid.
Watch some classics, and make new classics
I don’t need to tell you to watch Halloween, Friday the 13th, or The Exorcist. But there are so many other great films that create more than just scares; they give me “that Halloween feelin’”. Here’s a shortlist of some of my favorites- Aswang, Brides of Dracula, Donnie Darko, House on Haunted Hill (1959), Night on Bald Mountain (from Fantasia), Season of the Witch (also known as Hungry Wives), and Suspiria. Every one is worth picking up if you have weird, shitty taste like I do.
Aswang
Suspiria
Night on Bald Mountain (Fantasia)
Season of the Witch (Hungry Wives)
Dig up old celebrations of the season
Remember when Roseanne did a Halloween episode every year? I LOVED that shit. I know a lot of people weren’t too fond of the show, but to my white trash eyes the Roseanne Halloween special was the highlight of the season. I finally picked up the DVD set last year and now I plan on watching these awesome episodes every year, for at least the next 1 year. There are hundreds of DVD sets packed full of old specials, just waiting to be re-watched and robbed of all their nostalgia. Do it for them.
Decorate your living quarters
This should go without saying, but your house should be unrecognizable by October 3rd. Any later than that and you’re ruining it for the rest of us. You have until Friday.
Also crucial is having at least one real carved pumpkin, but I guess that can wait unless you enjoy the smell of rotting pumpkins. However, there are no excuses for not having a pumpkin up by October 28. If I can carve three living in NYC with nary a front door to display it on, anyone can.
Finally, a potentially reputation-damaging office space is a must. I hereby promise that before the month is over both Price and I will post photos of our offices at work so you can see just what kind of dipshits you’re dealing with. Something like this should suffice:
And finally….
Worship the devil
It worked for Dissection.
Tags: cubicle, dissection, dracula, fantasia, frankenstein, H.P. Lovecraft, halloween, october, pumpkins, roseanne, salem's lot