You get Elizabeth Bathory-inspired episodes of Scare Tactics.

In related news, Scare Tactics is still on TV. Neat!

[via BWE]

Just a friendly reminder to block out Sunday October 26th on all of your calendars. Not only is this the 5-times Halloween Eve, but it’s World Zombie Day!

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Hey! Did’ja know about drawergeeks? If not, mosy your fat ass on over there every Friday for kick-dick fantasy art by a wide range of illustrators way more talented than anyone currently sitting in your chair. It’s a great way to learn about some artists you may not be familiar with.

Here’s a small sampling of the categories that will titillate and amuse you:

Monsters under the bed

Death

Hellboy

Dinosaurs

ZOMBIESZOMBIESZOMBIESZOMBIESFUCKINGZOMBIES

Universal’s Monsters

Rasputin

And of course there are many more…

These guys totally fucking own. 

The metal itself is pure evil, and their songs contain some of the most horrifying and brutal breakdowns in the history of metal. In fact, it is not a stretch to say that Vlad the Impaler would have their debut full-length CD, the Cleansing playing at his funeral (if Suicide Silence had been around way back when).

However, these guys are winning bonus points today for their logo and merchandise, which feature some fantastic horror/Halloween imagery.  

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Jesus I love the suburban United States of America.  My passion for my alma matter’s football team found me in Raleigh, North Carolina this weekend to take in some of my favorite things:  football, grilling, beer, and supermarkets.  Those last combined led to the subject matter of this post; Halloween-inspired beverages.

As I roamed the spirits aisle of the local Harris Teeter, the packaging of several seasonal ales quickly caught my attention.  This is not an unusual thing, as I have always had an affinity for pumpkin ale (being so tightly tied to the Halloween and Fall seasons).  However, I have never seen such rampant abuse of the Jackolantern and Halloween imagery as I saw this day.

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This was originally going to be the 4th entry (my first) in Halloween Metal, but I realized there was absolutely no way I could justify this band as anything close to metal. They’re called Action Action, and chances are you’ve never heard of them. They released their debut cd (pictured above with a spookified cover) in 2004- an uneven mix of generally slow but occasionally groovy dark synth pop. If you really apply your busted neurons and think way back to those halcyon days, you may remember that everyone and their cat were making this type of music, so it makes sense that it was received with very little fanfare.

The irony that a band so obviously riding the year’s “it sound” would name their cd “Don’t Cut Your Fabric To This Year’s Fashion” while doing exactly that was not lost on a single smartass, including myself. However, I’m not fully endorsing them, or even this album, but just one glorious song off of it – “Drug Like”.  A song so dark and eerie it calls to mind a Halloween party montage of high school movie proportions.  Every time I hear it I picture kids drinking out of plastic cups in full costume, saying inane things, finger banging each other, and eventually getting murdered. Just like real high school.

You might possibly love it. I promise. Crank it up and get sulky while trying to ignore the video.

Wow, suddenly life feels normal.  That is all.

Humongous tusked creature in your band name? You’re halfway home. Play eardrum-crushing, heart-pounding stoner metal?  Have a skeleton on your debut album cover?  OK you can dub yourselves Halloween Metal worthy.

Wooly Mammoth‘s music could either serve as the soundtrack for a teeny slasher flick, or as a pre-fight anthems.  I know that Vincent and I put several 12 oz. aluminum units out of their misery while rocking to W.M., typically to their most kickass song, Black Spider Red Spider.

“Black Spider Red Spider” can be provide quite the experiment if you have the clout. When you listen to this song for the first time, I recommend having at least a 12 pack of Coors Light on hand. Repeat the song at least 12 times, sipping the beer throughout the song and then slamming the rest at the end. I guarantee you by the end of the set, you’ll have the courage and strength to do something great.  Or something very stupid.  Or something greatly stupid.  Keep children at a distance when listening to this song.  They will get hurt.

Sadly, I believe these guys have gone by the wayside and are no longer active.  Maybe the spooks can call them out of their cave this season to produce some more evil tunes.

I have no idea how I missed this. Apparently word has been on the street for over a year. Courtesy of I-Mockery Blabber.

If you want to see a sad yet genuine display of girly excitement and childish behavior, witness Vincent and I watching a horror movie trailer over and over again, discussing how “sick”, “brutal”, “ridiculous”, or “yay!” the movie looks.  

For myself, there is an additional multiplier involved when said movie is a Clive Barker vehicle.  Ever since I discovered Pinhead and the Hellraiser series, eyes-wide in my friend’s basement clutching a blanket and a 2-liter of Mountain Dew, I knew horror was for me.  Fast forward to today, and I am super-stoked to see his latest offering, Midnight Meat Train.

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